The white elephant  //  10 sweatshirts on the table

Open one. Or steal one.

Funny Christmas sweatshirts for the gift exchange, the office party and the family photo. Brand new. Spiritually regifted. Go ahead and shove the pile, it can take it.

Shop all 10
Stolen Twice at White Elephant, the sweatshirt graphic
Regift No. 001$44

Previously given to Dana Marcus Keisha You?

Stolen Twice at White Elephant

Last seen at
Dana's white elephant, 2024. Left with three different people.
Condition
Fought over. Holding up.
Size

The fine print

  • Brand newPrinted after you order it, just for you. The past on the tag is made up. The sweatshirt isn't.
  • Free US shippingSweatshirts usually take 5 to 9 business days, knits about 3 to 4 weeks. You see real dates before you pay, and the last day to order for Ugly Sweater Day.
  • Misprints replaced freeDamaged or printed wrong? Tell us within 30 days and we make it right. No receipt needed, obviously.

The gift table  //  All 10, nothing hidden

Pick one. It's already been passed around.

  • Stolen Twice at White Elephant sweatshirt in indigo blue

    Previously given to Dana Marcus Keisha You

    Regift No. 001  /  Indigo Blue

    Size for Stolen Twice at White Elephant

  • Per HR, This Is Festive sweatshirt in black

    Previously given to Brenda (HR) Greg You

    Regift No. 002  /  Black

    Size for Per HR, This Is Festive

  • Nice List: Pending Review sweatshirt in red

    Previously given to Grandma Tío Rafa Jess Kevin You

    Regift No. 003  /  Red

    Size for Nice List: Pending Review

  • The Tree Had It Coming sweatshirt in maroon

    Previously given to Aunt Linda Sam You

    Regift No. 004  /  Maroon

    Size for The Tree Had It Coming

  • Socks Again. Thanks. sweatshirt in dark heather

    Previously given to Mom Mom Mom You

    Regift No. 005  /  Dark Heather

    Size for Socks Again. Thanks.

  • Hot Cocoa, Cold Shoulder sweatshirt in navy

    Previously given to Chris You

    Regift No. 006  /  Navy

    Size for Hot Cocoa, Cold Shoulder

  • Still Untangling Last Year's Lights sweatshirt in charcoal

    Previously given to Dad Uncle Ray Paul You

    Regift No. 007  /  Charcoal

    Size for Still Untangling Last Year's Lights

  • Peopled Out Since Thanksgiving sweatshirt in forest green

    Previously given to Ashley Tom You

    Regift No. 008  /  Forest Green

    Size for Peopled Out Since Thanksgiving

  • Official Coquito Inspector sweatshirt in black

    Previously given to Titi Carmen Junior Wanda You

    Regift No. 009  /  Black

    Size for Official Coquito Inspector

  • Tamalada Survivor sweatshirt in dark chocolate

    Previously given to Abuela Prima Lety You

    Regift No. 010  /  Dark Chocolate

    Size for Tamalada Survivor

  1. No. 001 Stolen Twice at White Elephant Dana's white elephant, 2024. Left with three different people. Indigo Blue $44
  2. No. 002 Per HR, This Is Festive Brenda's office party, 2023. By the printer. Black $44
  3. No. 003 Nice List: Pending Review Grandma's kitchen, Christmas Eve, 2022. Red $44
  4. No. 004 The Tree Had It Coming A living room at 3:12 a.m. Ornaments everywhere. Maroon $44
  5. No. 005 Socks Again. Thanks. Christmas morning, every year since 2011. Dark Heather $44
  6. No. 006 Hot Cocoa, Cold Shoulder The couch, under two blankets, not sharing. Navy $44
  7. No. 007 Still Untangling Last Year's Lights The garage, in a box marked LIGHTS (WORKING?). Charcoal $44
  8. No. 008 Peopled Out Since Thanksgiving Thanksgiving 2025, leaving early. Forest Green $44
  9. No. 009 Official Coquito Inspector Titi Carmen's kitchen, Nochebuena, 2024. Black $44
  10. No. 010 Tamalada Survivor Abuela's kitchen, December 23. About 400 tamales in. Dark Chocolate $44

The good gifts  //  25 knit sweaters, $89 each

Somebody ignored the $25 limit.

Real jacquard knits. The joke is knitted into the sweater in four colors of yarn, setup on the front, punchline on the back. Every one is made to order, so give it 3 to 4 weeks to reach you.

Made of
Yarn. 4 colors of it
Made when
After you order
Arrives
In about 3 to 4 weeks
Order by
Wed, Nov 18 for Ugly Sweater Day, Wed, Nov 25 for Christmas
Shipping
Free in the US
  • Regifted 4 Times knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Gary Denise Tom from IT Gary again You

    Regift No. K01  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Regifted 4 Times

  • Grandma Knit This knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Nana Aunt Rosa Cousin Mike You

    Regift No. K02  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Grandma Knit This

  • Ugly Sweater Contest Runner-Up knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Brenda Kyle Priya You

    Regift No. K03  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Ugly Sweater Contest Runner-Up

  • Mistletoe. Nice Try. knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Derek Shawn Chris P. You

    Regift No. K04  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Mistletoe. Nice Try.

  • Silent Night, I'm Begging You knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Mom Uncle Ray The twins You

    Regift No. K05  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Silent Night, I'm Begging You

  • Festive Under Protest knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Jordan Sasha You

    Regift No. K06  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Festive Under Protest

  • Abuela Said I Look Nice knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Tía Carmen Javi Marisol You

    Regift No. K07  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Abuela Said I Look Nice

  • I Wore This Last Year knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Steph Ben Rachel You

    Regift No. K08  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Wore This Last Year

  • Merry Christmas, Return to Sender knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Kevin Kevin's mom Lisa You

    Regift No. K09  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Merry Christmas, Return to Sender

  • Only Here for the Pernil knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Titi Lourdes Papo Nina You

    Regift No. K10  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Only Here for the Pernil

  • Stolen Twice at White Elephant knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Rob Alicia Dev You

    Regift No. K11  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Stolen Twice at White Elephant

  • I Brought One Dish knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Tía Carmen the neighbors Uncle Dave You

    Regift No. K12  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Brought One Dish

  • Don't Touch the Thermostat knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Dad Also Dad You

    Regift No. K13  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Don't Touch the Thermostat

  • I Paid Real Money for This knit sweater, front

    Previously given to a coworker a coworker's cousin You

    Regift No. K14  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Paid Real Money for This

  • I Told Titi I Already Ate knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Primo Javi Titi Lourdes You

    Regift No. K15  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Told Titi I Already Ate

  • Christmas Is the 24th knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Abuelo the cousins the cousins' kids You

    Regift No. K16  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Christmas Is the 24th

  • The Cat Loved Her Gift knit sweater, front

    Previously given to the cat You

    Regift No. K17  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for The Cat Loved Her Gift

  • Thrilled to Be Here knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Karen in accounting the intern You

    Regift No. K18  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Thrilled to Be Here

  • I'm Your Secret Santa knit sweater, front

    Previously given to whoever drew you You

    Regift No. K19  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I'm Your Secret Santa

  • I Brought a $50 Gift knit sweater, front

    Previously given to the guy who stole it his wife You

    Regift No. K20  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Brought a $50 Gift

  • I Got Him for Christmas knit sweater, front

    Previously given to your person You

    Regift No. K21  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I Got Him for Christmas

  • I'm the Gift knit sweater, front

    Previously given to his mother's house her mother's house You

    Regift No. K22  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for I'm the Gift

  • Parranda Crew knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Tío Papo the whole block You

    Regift No. K23  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Parranda Crew

  • It's the Parranda knit sweater, front

    Previously given to the neighbors the neighbors' neighbors You

    Regift No. K24  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for It's the Parranda

  • Some Assembly Required knit sweater, front

    Previously given to Dad the kid's new bike You

    Regift No. K25  /  Jacquard knit, 4 yarns

    Size for Some Assembly Required

How regifting works

New sweatshirt. Old paperwork.

We write each sweatshirt a past, so it shows up already knowing how Christmas goes. The tag tells you where it has been. None of it happened. All of it sounds familiar.

The whole story

  1. 01

    Wrapped

    Every design starts in our studio as a joke somebody in the room couldn't stop repeating.

  2. 02

    Printed

    When you order, it's printed just for you on a soft fleece crewneck. No warehouse, no leftovers.

  3. 03

    Regifted

    It ships free in the US, usually in 5 to 9 business days. The tag comes along. What you do with it next is your business.

Your bag